Tuesday, June 11, 2013

This Time, I Will Post This

I've written a total of six complete, lengthy blog entries in the past few days and have posted zero. One was about an annoying series of prank calls I've been receiving. Another was about a little event that happened while I was looking for Korean language books in Barnes and Noble the other day. Yet another was simply an entire list of petty frustrations titled, "A List Of Petty Frustrations You Shouldn't Read." (I'm glad I didn't post that one.) There was one about a quote I enjoy (maybe I'll rewrite that one later) and one more where I tried to explain this whole Korean thing. Finally, I wrote one trying to explain all this, and I even abandoned that as well. This time, I will post this.

Last week was the first week I didn't post a video on my personal channel since March of last year. (There's one other week that doesn't have a video, but one was posted and then taken down.) During all that time, I've also posted a weekly video on Answerly and, for the majority of that time, I've posted a third video on The Stylish, too. I should probably feel a little accomplished by all this, but I mostly feel fried and overstretched. I have no idea how I was making three videos a week while also going to school and having a part-time job. Props to the daily vloggers out there.

I didn't really plan on not uploading last week. It was just sort of the perfect storm of life events. I had a couple different doctor appointments, got a couple immunizations (for Korea, which I should really write a proper blog entry about), ran around getting paperwork signed and filled out, and was on some mood-altering medication that was making me sleep 16+ hours a day at strange intervals.

Not gonna lie, I was also pretty disappointed at some of the reactions to my roadkill video from the previous week. The video has ended up being one of my most disliked vids in nearly a year, and I guess I felt sort of betrayed. I ran the idea past folks on twitter several days beforehand and the response was overwhelmingly supportive. I also had a blast making the vid. It's not often I get to go out and do impromptu things and am pleased with the final product, so it upset me it was received so negatively.

Of course, if you go to the video you'll likely find mostly positive comments, and there are only 44 "dislikes" at the time of this post. But that's significantly more than I normally get. I've mentioned in the past I have a problem stressing too much about my analytics and I know it's because I'm a people pleaser. As much as I make videos for myself as well as you, I have this overwhelming need for them and myself to be accepted. When that doesn't happen, I get sulky. In reality, I'm a moron for thinking any video with dead animals would be accepted positively. Must be the Arkansas in me.

Something else that's been on my mind--those of you who have been reading my stuff over the years know I've never shied away from writing about the current state of YouTube and all the problems I perceive there being from my viewpoint as an old geezer on the site. Well, (as of now) I'm tired of writing lengthy entries about those things, mostly because I find it all so redundant and I really don't consider myself part of the situation anymore. The whole vlogging scene in general is a bit reductive, as Madonna might say.

However, this doesn't mean I'm not finding other ways of expressing the current situation. Yesterday, I released my first (I guess you could call it) diss track. My friend, Sam (who produces most of my music these days), sent me a little loop about a week ago, I wrote some lyrics around it, and he made it come to life with some more production and guest parts from our friends.

I had some reservations about releasing the whole thing. I'd like to think this track discusses a larger issue, but maybe I'm wrong and it's just classless and negative and instigative. We're all the protagonists in our own story anyway, so who's to say what's right about any situation? All I know is it was fun to make and kinda nice not to write about a situation so seriously for once. The track is called "#Fiesta" and you can listen/download it for free here.

This entry isn't as satisfactory as I'd like, but I really need to get over whatever's been holding me back and just post already. I'll write about Korea soon, and other things that have been on my mind. Oh, and I appreciate all the positive feedback on the last post!