Sunday, July 21, 2013

Prepared For The End

I had a dream last night the apocalypse came. I don't remember much about the actual situation. I remember I was wearing my red hoodie (lookin' fly), and my friend, Greg, was there, and I'm pretty sure there were zombies, too. But I wasn't freaked out. And I have a feeling I know why.

I started to write about my TV-watching habits in the "Fragments" entry, but never fully explained myself. Short version: I don't watch TV. Long version: I don't really watch TV. I can't do series with long, elaborate storylines. I have nothing against these things. It's just too much to invest in and I start getting anxious about characters or missing episodes or series cancellations and the whole thing just doesn't sit well in my life. I'm sure it goes hand-in-hand with my fear of commitment, but I'm not prepared to get heavy with that.

I occasionally enjoy watching things that are episodic, and even some episodic things with recurring themes or underlying storylines. Most of these are cartoons I catch on Netflix, like Futurama or Bob's Burgers or an anime here or there. I also enjoy documentaries about Egypt and dinosaurs (but not together, although that might be awesome). Oh, and Keeping Up with the Kardashians is my guilty pleasure, and I make sure to DVR it every Sunday. (Feel free to judge me.)

However, the television in my bedroom is permanently set on the Science Channel, and it's usually only turned on if How It's Made is playing. For those not familiar, How It's Made is exactly what it sounds like. They show you how things are made. Things like pencils and bubblegum and guitars and engines and just about everything you can think of. There's even an episode that shows how eggs are made. Eggs.

We're finally circling back to my apocalyptic dream now. I wasn't freaked out in the dream because I knew how to run the world even though everyone (or most people) were gone. It sounds a little crazy, but one of the reasons I watch How It's Made is so I know how all these processes work in case everyone who does know suddenly disappears. Sure, it's a fun show and it's episodic and is great for background noise when I'm writing, but sometimes when I watch I can't help but get stressed out at how complex most of the processes are, even for the simplest of things. And if that handful of folks running the bubblegum factory go get eaten by zombies, who would know how to work all the gears and levers on those abstruse machines?

Then I start thinking about those of us who would survive the apocalypse and surely we'd need someone to know how all the factories work because heaven forbid we go without bubblegum and pencils a day over the zombies being gone. And so I've taken it upon myself to be that person who knows all these things in the instance of this ever happening. (You're welcome in advance.)

In reality, I'd probably be one of the first to go in case of the zombie apocalypse. As decent as I am when playing Left 4 Dead 2, I've never even shot a gun before, and I'm not exactly the most athletic person. Despite my Wii Fit thinking I ran three whole miles the other day, I was sort of just bouncing the controller around in my hand the last couple miles to trick it into thinking I was keeping up. So I'm sorry to say y'all may not have pencils and bubblegum once the apocalypse comes after all.

Also, I'm realizing there are things I wanted to blog about but haven't. Here is a brief list of things I've done recently (or are coming up):

  • Went to St. Louis with Mom to visit my sister. We went to the science museum and shopping. Had a good time.
  • Saw Girl Most Likely. Gave it a B. Was sort of like Young Adult but with a happier ending.
  • Purchased a new swimsuit at Gap Kids. It has neon sharks on it and is a size medium.
  • Been working on developing the podcast. I'm hoping to work on the first episode the week after VidCon.
  • Oh yeah, I leave for Phoenix on the 27th to hang out with friends until VidCon the next weekend.
  • I finally uploaded a video after my month-long break. I was quickly reminded how awful YouTube commenters can be and how much I let them get to me. Looks like--even after 6.5 years--I still need to work on this.