I just looked at the clock and realized that this time tomorrow I'll be about to go live as the host of my own radio show. Even typing that sentence made me look over at the trash can and contemplate barfing.
It's not even that big of a deal. This is just how I get and how my body prepares for things, and I recognize that. Maybe I'll do some yoga on my Wii Fit later, although I know I'll just be jittery and shaky and then the (hot) Wii Fit trainer will scold me and I'll get even more anxious.
Y'all regular readers will know the nerves aren't stemming from unpreparedness. In fact, I've probably prepared too much--written too much for the air, researched too much for the interview, analyzed too many potential situations in my mind. My Type A personality and control freakiness have kicked into overdrive this week. I've got everything planned down to what shoes I'm wearing tomorrow, which is obviously super important because you'll all be able to see them, right? You mean that's not how radio works?
I'm trying to think of what I tell my friends when they talk to me about things they're nervous about or problems they're going through. And now that my own advice is echoing throughout my head, I'm realizing how bad I am at comforting people. "Well, something will happen. That's for sure," I usually say. Sometimes I'll try to get all inspirational with a "Shoot for the stars" or other similar phrases of encouragement that sound like they've come from Sesame Street (and they usually have). If all that fails, I whip out the "We'll all be dead in 80 years or so anyway."
I guess that last one does help a bit. If I fuck up completely, everyone who listens will probably be wiped from the Earth in about 80 years anyway. But what about non-Earthlings? Don't radio waves get broadcast into space? What if aliens in the surrounding star systems get the signal in several years and decide to blow up Earth because of how awful I did? I'm not sure I'm mentally prepared to carry the weight of the fate of the Earth on my shoulders.
Now I'm just talking crazy, which means it's time to go take a shower and play some Animal Crossing and get all this out of my mind. If you want all the details for tuning into the show tomorrow and listening either live on the air or online (or via podcast later), you can find details in this entry. I apologize to Earth in advance.