Friday, August 15, 2014

Where the videos have gone

Comments/tweets/emails have been coming in regarding why I'm not doing videos lately. Here is a post about that.

First, I'd like to say the way a lot of the comments/tweets/emails have been worded kinda unjustifiably rubs me the wrong way. People say they "miss me," which sounds sweet, but which also kinda feels like a slap in the face because I never left. On the contrary, I've been pouring myself into many things I've had to put off for years. And so it's like people have just been ignoring all these things I've been working so hard on--weekly podcasts and staying active on this blog and making music with Sam and attempting to reboot my gaming channel. Plus, I tweet every day and post on instagram relatively often. Honestly, there's too much of me online. It's gross! You should be sending me comments/tweets/emails hinting that I should take a vacation to Siberia or something. (Although a trip there might turn into a permanent break for me. We both know I wouldn't survive long in an icy wilderness without a Wal-Mart nearby. Also, I'm not entirely sure I even exist anymore in the absence of the Internet.)

Anyway, like I said, it's an unjustifiable feeling on my part. Perhaps if people said, "I miss your videos," instead of just "I miss you," it would be better. But I should understand that's what they mean, anyway.

Second, it's no secret I've been really disgusted for a long time with the track that YouTube seems to be on. This entry isn't going to get into that. I've written enough about it, here and elsewhere. I'm over it. That's not really a reason for me to leave the site anymore. I've come to terms with the fact that--if I'm gonna post videos on YouTube--I'm just gonna have to get used to swimming against the current. (God, that makes me sound like an insufferable hipster or something. Or like those people who don't listen to Owl City because he got popular. You're missing out on some good electro, nighttime driving music, btw. Granted it does all kinda sound the same now. And don't get me started on that duet with Carly Rae Jepsen. That was a mess. Wait, what were we talking about? Oh yeah. Videos.)

Third, I'm coming down from a three-month shitstorm of video making. And I can't expect anyone to know about all that was going on because I never talked about my job in San Francisco, so it's my fault for not detailing it.

In that job, I was working 40+ hours and was responsible for helping produce at least 14 videos every week, and often more than that. That's at least three videos every day that I was overseeing in some way. Granted, I was working with a really great team, so the work was a little spread out, but we were tragically understaffed. And so every single one of those videos went through my hands in one way or another.

On the weekends, I made my Answerly videos because there wasn't enough time to make them during the week. And then on the one day I had free, if I wasn't doing laundry or grocery shopping, I wanted to get out of that horrible house I was living in and explore the city and enjoy my time in SF. I didn't want to go to the YouTube homepage, or stare mindlessly at editing software, or even try and look decent for the camera (which takes a lot of work, trust me. A lot. You know the Orcs in the Lord of the Rings movies? I actually look like that).

When I did have a spare hour or two, usually at night, I worked on some of those aforementioned projects I've had to put off for the past 7.5 years because I've felt the pressure to make a YouTube video every week. This blog had been seriously neglected up until the past few months, which was sad because writing is my favorite thing. I'd been wanting to start the podcast back up for ages. My gaming channel sadly fell by the wayside. Music wasn't getting made. And so many other projects I wanted to complete were only fractionally done.

Fourth, I was honestly getting a little burned out with videos even before the job in San Francisco, which I think was obvious to a lot of people (but even if it was, you should spare my feelings and not agree with this). Some things that happened last year really knocked down my self-confidence. I was simultaneously too much inside my own head, and also too much inside the heads of everyone else. I wasn't pleased with the video content I was putting out and was too affected by negative comments.

TL;DR I needed a break from videos, both for my mental well-being, and so I could do other things I haven't had time to do. In fact, in my humble opinion, I think the non-video stuff I've been doing online lately has been way better than my videos were near the end. The podcast with Sam is so much fucking fun. (This past week we talked about the pros and cons of sleeping with Ronald McDonald, so obviously the quality is just aces.) It's nice to be writing here again. Music is getting made. The gaming channel is gearing up for a relaunch. And other things, too. So, if you're missing the videos, I hope you'll understand why I'm giving you a little push in the direction of these other things. I'm proud of them.

I'm also not saying the videos on my personal channel have ceased forever. I realize that was my initial audience and has remained my core audience. You never know when I might pop back up in video form (probably not on your homepage, though, because YouTube murdered the subscription boxes ages ago and probably blacklisted me from them anyway). Also, my comeback won't be as amazing as Hilary Duff's. That level is clearly impossible for anyone else to reach. So don't get your hopes up for that.

If you'd like some imagery to go along with all this, just picture me as Madonna in Evita singing "Don't Cry for Me, Argentina," except replace "Argentina" with your name to make it extra creepy.* And, if you want, you can even imagine me in the same dress she was wearing. I don't want to start any arguments, but I feel like it would've looked better on me anyway.

-joe

*Fun fact: I actually totally wrote a parody song to the tune of "Don't Cry for Me, Argentina" years and years ago to post on my channel but never got around to it. Maybe that will happen someday.

21 comments:

  1. Much live for you Joe, personally I love and enjoy any content you put out (especially the blogging and podcasts) so keep it up I think you are certainly going in the right direction!

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  2. I honestly like your blog. It's fun and I get to see it when it pops up on my feed (yadda yadda subscription box, you know the drill). Your blog feels incredibly honest and your wiry humor is shines here. Keep doing you. <3

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  3. I can understand missing your main channel videos, but you have so much content that is just as good if not better. You have hilarious podcasts that you update regularly. Plus your blog that you have been writing about your crazy San Francisco adventures. And let's be honest someone needs to start printing your twitter posts on t-shirts.

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  4. Oh yaaay, I'm subbed to your gaming channel on my other accounts, in hopes you'd make more videos there! Please consider Minecraft (I know there are more than enough on YT, but I'd love to watch you play)!

    I may not be very active on Twitter or Instagram, but when I do check in, I always love your posts.

    Looking forward to the Music; this week's podcast was HILARIOUS btw!
    Don't be afraid to share your thoughts here on YT; invite/re-invite your fans there to your other mediums! Some people get easily distracted, and might appreciate a reminder.
    ^_~

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  5. Do miss your videos, but mostly cause it's hilarious to hear your voice; you have this way with sarcasm and humor that always makes me laugh. Not that I don't find your writing humorous and fun to read! (Your tweets especially can make me laugh!) But I can totally understand the need to take a hiatus from something in order to focus on other things. Gonna start listening to podcasts, and I look forward to any new additions to your gaming channel!

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  6. I have missed your videos and you...(that sounds creepy) but I completely understand that life gets in the way and sometimes you just need a break. I've been catching up on your podcasts and gaming channel videos which are hilarious, I love when you're unscripted and uncensored ;) Can't wait for whenever you make a comeback on your channels. Although it probably will not be as amazing as Hillary Duff's comeback, but you get what you pay for.

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  7. been watching you before 5ag and you're the only one I still love watching it's been soooo long that I can't be mad for you moving on even tho your vids are amazing

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  8. Joe, good for your for getting back to what makes you happy. I for one am looking forward to more of your written work!

    I know what you mean about investing so much time into one project that you just stretch yourself thin in other areas. I can sympathize with your video burnout; after being a blogger at a summer camp, I didn't want to open up WordPress for at least a month. Ugh. Just ugh. I need a glass of wine now, just thinking about it...

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  9. oh and if you are gonna revive the gaming channel if you could think about playing outlast that would be fucking gold!

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  10. while i'm a teeny bit sad about the break in videos, i (and i hope most of your viewers) totally understand. you do you, joseph birdsong.
    (also, i listen to the podcast at my 190% awful job and it makes 1 hour go by much faster and happier than it would otherwise, so yay to you and sam for being fucking hilarious and taking my mind off how much of a giant dickhead my boss is)



    (posting as a guest because you never know who is looking at your shit/gonna get you in trouble for calling your boss a dickhead)

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  11. I get your tweets directly sent to my phone so I can have a little chuckle through out the day and I listen to your podcasts religiously. Some times while I work I re-listen to them. I hope those who are "missing you" find this and realize your podcasts go for a whole hour. Not just 3 minutes and they're just gold.

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  12. Ack, I'm one of those people who said "Miss you, Joe!" and honestly meant I missed your videos on your channel. I love the podcast, follow you on Twitter, read ya blog, etc., so I'm well aware you're in essence everywhere (which isn't a bad thing cause I like your updates!). I've known about your disdain for YouTube's trajectory for years now, so I get your frustrations there, as well as obviously, your moves back and forth, working constantly, etc. Always a pleasure to hear from you in one form or another (makes you sound like some demon shapeshifter ha). Always wishin you the best, Joe! I also can't wait for more music, though New Queen Bee is still going strong on my daily rotations haha. :)

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  13. You are kind of like Hilary Duff in that your talent defies changes in medium. You're a triple threat!

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  14. You're the only youtuber I make sure to follow outside of youtube. I have thoroughly enjoyed this blog and your twitter. You just shine in any medium that you choose apparently. I'm glad to hear that the game channel is being relaunched though!

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  15. Don't know if you would be into doing this, but have you thought about setting up a P.O. box so all of us (your internet friendos) can send you mail? Would love to send you some more kawaii stuff so you can continue to get it poppin' wherever you go. Love all of your contributions you've made to the internet, keep doing what you do. Best regards! :)

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  16. Joe, I totally understand your hiatus from your YouTube channel. I watched your videos whenever you posted them and they were all great, but as a writer myself, I completely understand your need to write. I feel like some things are better in writing, there's just some things you can't so in video form.... like sing "Don't Cry For Me Argentina", and replace Argentina with the viewers name! haha I will be a fan of your work whether it's in writing, video format, or podcast format. Ditto!

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  17. If I may... You are funny and when I am sad you always find a way to brighten my heart! Kinda creepy sounding... I always rewatch your videos and no one is (or should be) rushing you on decisions you should make on your own! Also, what those other people are saying about you is stupid... They may think that of you but, you don't think of them at all! The things that happen to you, us. They are what make us throughout life! They make us be something bigger than the people who think that can control you. Just remember that its your life, your rules. Be who you are! And, your jaw is lovely.

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  18. it's completely ok to take your time and perhaps try out something new don't worry we love you

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  19. I like the podcast :) I get more of your stories! It's fantastic.

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  20. So excited about the gaming channel relaunch!!!

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  21. Travis Ryan McMurraySeptember 4, 2014 at 8:03 PM

    I'll admit, I came here looking for why you hadn't made any videos, and after reading this entry, I completely sympathize with what you had to say. You're closest fans will follow you in whatever forum you make available. PS I think you're an incredible writer!

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